Toilet Paper Issues

Saturday, April 05, 2008

On this rainy Saturday afternoon, after our International Marketing paper (I shall dwell abit more on that later), I would like to blog about, of all things, toilet paper.

Most people think that just because you are locked in the confines of a toilet cubicle, no one can see what you are doing.

I'm not sure if most people think that way after what so many movies have showed us that it is really possible to have a freaky society with surveillance possibly taking place anywhere and at anytime (I think Bourne movies are one good example).

However, I don't think any government wants to know what takes place within toilet cubicles.. yet.

Sheryl Crow, correct me if I'm wrong, actually said that we should all use toilet paper considerately.

Her idea of considerately was for 'small business', one square. For 'big business' use three squares. Of course, critics jumped upon this and went crazy.

As one of the masses, I think that using one square alone is kind of ridiculous. I think her argument was that we are going to wash our hands after we leave the cubicle anyway, thus one square (or three squares) of toilet paper is enough.

I think as long as you use below 4 squares for either big or small business, it's reasonable. . . But then there are people I absolutely do not understand.

It started off when I was in Temasek Polytechnic.

It's something everyone knows that girls go to the toilet in groups. Thus I was one of these girly group excursions to the toilet. The toilet was virtually empty except with our own people.

I was using the toilet when I heard a fierce rolling sound. I was abit shocked really, but I finally guessed what sound was that.

It was the sound created when someone pulls forcefully at the toilet paper that is attached to that 'roll-holder' against the cubicle wall. Thus creating a loud 'zarr-ing' sound.

You should hear that zarr-ing sound for yourself. It wasn't just a short one you know. It was like that person's ass was so big, she had to use a quarter of the entire toilet roll to wipe her *toot*..!! Let me remind you that Temasek Polytechnic uses JUMBO toilet rolls. Those super duper huge ones.

Wtf. Super inconsiderate. It's no wonder sometimes we enter toilets and realise that there are no more toilet rolls already.

It happened again. Recently. At work. There were only 2 cubicles in the ladies toilet. I entered one as the other one was already occupied.

And then I heard the same furious zarr-ing sound so familiar from my Polytechnic days.

I'm sick of this. Can someone explain the rationale behind this? Because even if it is THAT time of the month for the ladies, you don't have to use THAT many toilet roll (absorbing blood is what your pad is for, not stuffing toilet roll pads there. Laurier F rulezzzzzz)!!

It's like, that person is repeatedly pulling you know. If you ask me I think easily 30 squares were unrolled by that person! Maybe even more!!

I didn't bother to hang around after leaving the cubicle just to see who that culprit is. Can't be bothered.

Some Singaporeans really are disgracing the rest of us. Free also don't need to like that right? Want to open your handbag and stuff the toilet paper inside or not?

Okay, on to a lighter and then finally ending with a serious note. Mum says I am too good at describing dirty and disgusting things (e.g. dog ticks and maggots on beds) so I thought I'd try my hand at some more.. delightful descriptions. First of all, once again... apologies to those who hate chocolate. The next few lines are not meant for you.

I just had the privilege of enjoying this superb combinatino that I thought everyone should try...

Eat a Ferrero Rocher... and then while chewing it in your mouth, take a sip of (any brand of) Full Cream Milk. Mix it with the tongue.

Heavenly bliss!!!

I think it works best for Ferrero Rocher because it has that little bit of crushed nuts on it. Plus, there is a biscuit ball too, that helps to absorb the full cream milk.

Because if you just eat plain chocolate, it will just get washed down when you sip the milk, but with Ferrero, the creamy milk gets to swirl around in your mouth to mix perfectly with the milk chocolate which obediently stays in your mouth due to the nuts and the biscuits' absorbtion.

........ Arrr.........

Okay, now you are still leaning back and trying to imagine the taste.. I shall bring you back thunderously to reality. About my stupid International Marketing paper.

I thought it was pretty cool of the lecturer that he said we could write our OWN exam questions.

How many lecturers would offer that? Of course, he said, there was a catch.

As students, our questions would probably be too simple, so he would rephrase it abit to make it more suitable for an exam question.

The whole class was game.

Each project group took charge of a different Chapter of the lesson and there we went, compiling and writing model answers for each of the questions. I've never seen such a cooperative class that I was sure would make many lecturers proud.

Come exam day, honestly I have to admit, I had only briefly looked through the lecture notes but I had spent most of my time MEMORISING the compiled answers by the class that was emailed to everyone.

I never thought I could memorise so many things at my age. HAHAHAHA!!

At exactly 9am this morning, I sat myself down at my exam seat. Before even looking through the 60 MCQ questions in Section A, I flipped right to Section B where the structured questions were. I had memorised so much for it I thought I had better jot down on the question paper what I had STILL remembered.

Imagine. My. Shock.

For awhile I thought I was going to puke.

The questions were not rephrased at all. It was totally different. Totally. Totally. Like.. I know he taught this theory in class because I vaguely remembered it, but then I absolutely did not study it for the exam because no one compiled anything about this waterfall theory and sprinkler theory.

As I was bullsh*tting away into the answer booklet, I was so engrossed that I almost typed WATER SPRINKLER theory. Wth. He would have laughed his arse off.

CiiN Sniffed Her Pillow At 5:24 pm